Phases

I still remember the liberation I felt when I realised, as a teenager, that my music didn’t need to have vocals. A simple idea that I somehow hadn’t considered before. It meant an end to struggling to write lyrics, and battling with singing, just so I had a vessel for the melody. I was free to focus on the parts that came naturally to me. And so began my music career, and creating the music that probably led you here.

With each project my interests and appreciation of music expands, and I find myself exploring new aspects of it. My current phase started two years ago – in stereotypical artist form – after a breakup. By the following day I was writing in my notebook, as a kind of emotional journal, and a few months later the words started attaching themselves to music. I describe it like that because I honestly had no intention of doing any of this (music can be strange), but I had accidentally started writing songs.

In the past my ears would mostly gloss over the words in songs, my attention fully captured by the sound, but slowly I started to hear lyrics. My mum’s music taste made so much more sense to me, and I finally understood why people might like Leonard Cohen. I spent the following year learning to write lyrics, learning to sing, and figuring out how I wanted to express it all. Now I’m working on an album I never could have imagined, and finding so much reward in everything my younger self cast aside.

The challenging part of exploring new terrain is that it takes years, without much feedback along the way. I often fantasise about doing a casual project, just a few tracks, and throwing it online like the reckless teenager I never was, but the only way I know how to create is to close my eyes and dive deep. Don’t worry, the music will still feel familiar, and I’m creating proper instrumental versions as well.

There’s still a long way to go, but I’ve now written all the songs and I’m in the process of recording them. As intimidating as it is for me, after poring over every lyric, and after many lessons with my miracle-working vocal teacher (Suzanne 🙏), I’m finally embracing my voice.

中文

In order to prove I’m not just a music-making robot, although I do have a soft spot for them, I thought I should also start sharing some of my other interests, and one of my current obsessions is studying Mandarin Chinese.

I started learning last year, and now I’m addicted. I can tell you that I will never again take having an alphabet for granted, but otherwise it feels like the most logical and modular language I’ve had experience with, and the tones provide a third dimension of pun opportunities that seem to playfully permeate Chinese culture.

My ulterior motive of sharing this is that I’m hoping, on the off chance, that you know/study it too. I need all the help I can get!

18 Apr 2023